Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
