Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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