How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
