Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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