Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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