I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
