After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
