its not stalking. its research.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
