we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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