It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
