The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
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He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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