i permit you to call me
Pants 0. Shit 1.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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