I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
