I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
