She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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