It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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