So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
