can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
