i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
