how hairy? two words: wookie tits
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
