I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize