I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize