Swine flu. Run for my life!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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