I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
