Its about making memories worth repressing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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