How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
