Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
