White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
