people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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