he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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