y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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