what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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