drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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