I'm really into asian looking animals
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
