She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
