This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
