How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
