I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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