do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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