remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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