haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
