1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
