Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can Purell be used as lube?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
