it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Terrible idea I love it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
