Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
