Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
