Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
