Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
