My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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