Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
