I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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