he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.