Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely