No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."