paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
