we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
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Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
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This baby is an asshole
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today