we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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