I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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