so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
