I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
