at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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