This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize