The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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