Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
