There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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