i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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