he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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