Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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