Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
