so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
