roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
